At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What drink are we having for lunch?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
