he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
