Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
