hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize