At least make sure they are 18
Why
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
