you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
