We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
