i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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