She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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