uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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