hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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