I hate your face
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
