Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
