Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
