I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
