I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You can't special order awesome
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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