come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
