I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
