Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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