i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
