Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
