I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
