I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
