The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
