No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
