Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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