They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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