wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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