oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
