Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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