i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
