Define "chronic" masturbator.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
