what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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