And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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