I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize