I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
