Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
