I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
