what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
