i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize