I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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