Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize