The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize