I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
