when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
