Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
