yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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