spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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