our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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