He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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