I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
