So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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