Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
