Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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