**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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