You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
