You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
