So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
