It's like a parade of train wrecks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
