i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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