Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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